We’ve been sold a lie about what’s “good” and what’s “bad.” Society tells us that a promotion is good, losing a job is bad. Marketing insists the new phone is good, last year’s model is bad. Even casual conversation trains us to frame life in absolutes: a “horrible” month, an “amazing” weekend. But here’s the problem—none of these things are truly good or bad on their own. The labels come from us, and the stronger the label, the more power it has over how we feel.
The Power of Labels
Words don’t just describe events—they shape them. A delay, a pay rise, a tough conversation—none of these arrive already stamped “good” or “bad.” They’re just events. Literally just things that happen in the course of a day. The weather doesn’t label itself. Nor does a flight roster change or a call from your boss. The value we attach is ours, not theirs.
And yet the moment we apply a label, we make the event bigger than it is. Call it “horrible,” and your stress spikes. Call it “fantastic,” and your expectations soar. Same event, different language—different emotional reality.
If that sounds obvious, think of this: how could the same delay be “good” for one passenger (extra time to catch a connection) and “bad” for another (missed meeting, missed chance)? The event itself hasn’t changed. What changes is the label. Philosophers have been pointing this out for centuries—things are not good or bad in themselves, only in how we judge them.
It’s worth saying: there’s nothing wrong with having preferences. Every pilot remembers their first solo—it’s an event we cherish, one we’d never trade. But even that milestone doesn’t carry an inherent label of “good” on its own. It’s our meaning, our experience, that makes it so. Preferences are like a compass—they point you in a direction, but they aren’t the terrain itself. The trouble comes when we mistake those preferences for absolutes—when we start calling them “good” or “bad,” as if they hold value outside of our judgment. That’s when ordinary events begin to hold more sway over our emotions than they deserve.
The Trap of Externals
This is where the real danger lies. The moment we label outcomes outside our control as “good” or “bad,” we hand our peace of mind over to fortune. A promotion, a roster change, a relationship, a financial win—these can all shift overnight. If our happiness rises and falls with them, then so does our stability.
Philosophy has long warned against this trap. External things can be preferred or not preferred, but they can never guarantee us happiness. When we treat them as absolutes, we set ourselves up for constant turbulence—soaring when we gain what we like, and crashing when we lose it. Anchoring our calm to what fortune might give or take is like flying without a horizon: you’ll always be at the mercy of what the outside world decides to throw at you.
What Deserves Our Strongest Words
Not everything deserves the same weight. Some things belong at the very top of the list—your integrity, your courage, your judgment under pressure. Those are always worth protecting, because they sit fully within your control. Call those good if you like; they’ve earned the title.
Everything else belongs further down. Recognition, comfort, smooth schedules—these can be enjoyed, but they’re never worth trading for what’s higher up. Treating them as absolute ‘goods’ is like confusing a nice tailwind for a safe landing. Helpful, yes. Essential, no. When you know the difference, you stop scattering your strongest words on things that don’t deserve them.
Keeping Peace of Mind in Your Own Hands
The world doesn’t decide what’s good or bad. You do. That’s the lie we forget. When we treat our own labels—“horrible,” “amazing,” “terrible,” “fantastic”—as absolute truths, we hand our calm to fortune. When we see them for what they are—just words—we keep it in our own hands.
When you save your strongest words for the things that truly matter—your character, your discipline, your choices—you stop being thrown around by everything else. A smooth day, a rough day, a cherished milestone, or a missed chance: they’re not good or bad in themselves. They’re just events. What matters is the judgment you bring to them.
That’s how peace of mind stays yours, not fortune’s. This week, don’t gamble away your peace.
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